You're One To Talk.

Another late night draws me to writting another one of these. Whilst my computer renders a 10 second piece of footage in after effects that fans and processors go absolutely mad, I can only compare the buzzing noise to that of a swarm of killer space bee's trying to burst their way into my home. It's quite annoying, so i decided the turn on the TV, to pass the time and some more stimulation for my eye balls as my computer tries to take off. Now before you ask: "Your writing this, so you much on a computer!" I'm on my laptop. Thank you.

Anyway. The television came on with a flash of white light reminding me of a time when I had cornea's - The light is off you see. Elvis Costello's live show decided to come on my screen, his charming guitar riffs will quite happily satisfy my needs for the time being. However, it's just gone the 15 minute mark for telly land when they have to show adverts.

Now as it's late all those weird, sleazy adverts for 'Text Flirt' and '18 year old, fill my hole, friend finder' bombard the time slot. Joy, the image comes to me of a dozen or so sleepless middle age men contemplating whether or not he should or shouldn't in case his wife sees the 5 odd digit number on the bill.

But one other advert struck me. The new campaign for the 'Swift Cover Car Insurance' fronted by the so called 'Iggy Pop.' The man looks like a scrotum that's been deep fat fried. He parades around my screen shouting at me about how great he is because of his new found way of getting car insurance. Prick.

What makes it worse is the constant face cuts of him dancing like a bell end, topless. It's as if someone has a long strand of leather and tied it to a fan so it blows around like an annoying tick. What really tops it off for me, is at the end when the wrinkly leather skinned, smug, droopy faced bastard looks straight down the lens and tells me to "get a life."

I'm sorry Mr. Pop, that I'm not a sold out, limited mainstream, rock artist fannying around a purple set trying to sell car insurance. Your one to talk about 'getting a life.' Your now seeing car insurance you prick. Stop patronising people and go back to your tanning bed and we can only prey that the skin cancer develops faster. Cock.